The Lovely Little Introvert

     Is it terribly odd that I'm struggling with what to write about this year? Normally this post is a breeze and I quite enjoy it, yet somehow I don't know what to say about 2018...            For starters, the Lord really blessed us this year. We celebrated our first wedding anniversary. We bought our first house. We adopted/rescued Tora, Charlie, Suki and Mama. We began to pay off some debt. I left Starbucks and started working as a caregiver-my first new job in five years! I got to go see my family in August. I took some time to figure myself out-a work in progress, honestly. I'm sure there are tons more things I can't think of right now, too. But it's been a bit of a challenging year also. Jake's been really struggling with pain and difficulties with his job. Plus we are working opposite schedules so we don't see much of each other during the week. We've been dealing with behavioral issues between the pups. In August I found out I was going to be a

     More often than not, big leaps of faith are scary. Usually they involve change, and let's be honest, none of us are big fans of change. Me in particular. Change is not my thing. Except when it is. Recently I began asking God for something different, seeking out changes in the area of my job. What did I want to do with my life? What would give me the purpose I was desperately longing for? Well, what were my passions? What type of job would not make me hate going to work every day? All these questions seemed to go unanswered for a long time. I got very restless, waiting for some sort of miracle, a note in my mailbox telling me exactly what I ought to do. But life doesn't work that way. So I began exploring just one question: What makes me come alive?      The answer to that question was actually easier than I thought. After prayer and much thought, I realized that the one thing across the board that really makes me feel alive is helping people. It's so broad, I realize,

     They say you blink and one day your kids are grown, moving away and starting lives of their own. They tell all new parents to enjoy all the stages, even the hard ones, because you don't get them back. They should give this advice to siblings, too. Especially the ones that grow up together.      I had the privilege of spending 5 days in Virginia with my family in August. Bear in mind this is was the first time the four of us had been together since Karissa and I both moved away. On some levels, it felt exactly the same. The boys were a little taller and their voices a little deeper. Otherwise not much had changed. Then we spent a few days together, did some things. We played board games and laughed hysterically like we always do. But there was such an underlying air of difference that couldn't be ignored. We ad our own obligations, things to plan for and take into consideration. The boys were preparing for a new school year and youth group leadership positions. Karissa and

     For those of you who don't know me terribly well, I can be extremely stubborn. And very pessimistic. And a total pain in the butt. Ever since I was a little girl I wouldn't do anything unless it was my idea (even if someone told me to do it first). Annoying for everyone else, I know. Well recently, the Lord has been showing me some pretty uncomfortable things about myself through the eyes of my lovely husband.       For starters, stubbornness often masquerades as pride. Depression is easy to use as a crutch for laziness. Sometimes being right gets in the way of being better. Nearly everything is a choice. More often than not, life does not happen to you, you happen to your life. Anything worth having, doing, or becoming has to be worked hard for. Nothing is free or automatic. Difficulty is guaranteed in life. There is no real easy way out. There are always consequences, good or bad. God is standing by you, even when you think you've run as far away as you can.     

     Suicide and depression has been a popular topic the last two days. And it is a topic very near and dear to my heart. Kate Spade died on Wednesday, Anthony Bourdain died Thursday. Anyone not living under a rock knows that they both took their own lives. And I'm certain countless other "non-celebrities" took their own lives those same days, too. Regardless of status, people are dying. There have been tons of articles popping up about the 2 celebrities, depression in general, people posting the Suicide Hotline number. Those are all great and everything. Every little bit helps, really. But I want to talk about what isn't helpful. I want to talk about the reality of suicide, suicidal ideation, and depression. I want to talk about the people who talk and give their opinion when they don't understand. I want to talk about everything messy and awful and horrible that goes along with this disease known as depression, because like it or not, it's reality for way to

         When I was in middle school, I had a youth pastor who loved to use the phrase "fake it 'til you make it." He would use it during youth group sermons for all sorts of different scenarios. At the time, I thought it was the best thing ever, so I didn't question it at all. Recently, though, I have been thinking about it more. I think I've come to the conclusion that it's total crap. Or it kind of makes sense and perhaps the phrasing is just awful. Let me explain.      I think when you are struggling, there is a real danger in being fake until you make it back to okay. If you don't reach out for help you might not even make it back. I have experienced this often in my life, taking the phrase a little too literally, believing that I shouldn't be bothering people with my problems. I could just "fake it 'til I make it" and everything will be dandy. Hey, guess what? It doesn't really work like that.      I also believe that

     Probably one of the toughest things writers deal with is the question, "Well, what do I write about?" Ideas don't always come smacking ya in the face. Sometimes they are hidden, or waiting for the right moment. Other times, I swear, it's like they don't even exist. I haven't been blogging as much because frankly I'm not sure what to write about! It is so frustrating, especially when one of my goals is to write more. How do I write more when I don't know what to write about? That's when I looked back at all my past blog posts and realized that the posts with the most views were all mini snapshots of my life with Jacob and our fur babies. It's the pain-filled posts, the real-life stuff. So in light of that discovery, that is what I'm going to try and stick with (unless of course I write a really epic short story).      I will give another quick update on our little family. Most of you know, but we had to put Jingles down last week. She

     Just a quick little update before I get to the meat of my blog post today: The Lord has been blessing us incredibly over the last few weeks. A dear regular of mine at my job gave Jake and I a bunch of tools for the house. Also, after submitting our inspection to the sellers, they agreed to fix everything, even what they weren't required to fix. We finished our home buyers class for the Colorado first time home buyer grant and also received the appraisal and approval for the loan. We are signing on Friday, the 6th, at 11am! It has been an insane process, but we could not be more excited to have a place to call our own.      Jingles is just like a Sour Patch candy pack, sour and sweet. She loves to take naps in the bathroom or on whatever moving box she can reach. She hates when Ollie chases her or tries to steal her food/water (the two of them are like Garfield and Odie, I kid you not).      Ollie is like a little boy, sweet and kinda naughty. He loves his Kong toy and taking

    Just a quick update to fill everybody in. I'm not doing any more of the crafting posts as my last two weren't that interesting to y'all which is fine. I'll stick to making crafts and writing about real life stuff. :) And I'll try to keep this blog post brief for you.      Most of you already know, but my mama had a health scare a few days ago. She had some seizures and ended up in the hospital. They did a bunch of tests and diagnosed her with pneumonia also. Unfortunately they still didn't figure out what caused the seizures. Now she's in the process of recovery and not having much fun. Thankfully Karissa is there and able to make sure she actually rests and gets better.      Jacob and I are super blessed to be part of a church plant called Remnant with our friends Holly and Israel. Jacob has been a huge part of worship with his super awesome guitar skills and also helping out with the social media aspect, too. The Lord has blessed me with the opportun

Make 4 Wreaths for Under $10       As promised, here is the next post in this new crafting on a budget series. I will show you how you can make 4 wreaths for your front door for under 10 bucks. No, really! I'm gonna be honest, they aren't the fanciest or most expensive looking wreaths, but if you want something different and maybe even a little unconventional, keep reading! I'll give you a list of what I used to make it, roughly how much each item cost and any tips or tricks you might need when recreating the wreath for yourself!       First things first, there are a few items you'll need for basically every project and these I haven't included in the $10 price.  1. A good pair of scissors.  'Nough said. An ideal pair would cut ribbon without it fraying.  2. A glue gun or craft glue . If you're using regular glue, I would go with Anita's craft glue, available at Michael's or Joann or Hobby Lobby. It's better than regular Elmer's gl

      March is National Craft Month and crafting is a huge passion and love of mine (but, I couldn't wait until March so I'm going to do it for the month of February instead!). Everything from cards to signs, scrapbooking, painting, and just cute home decor in general. Because of this, I thought it would be really fun to do a blogging series on some crafty and home decor things you can do (and on a budget to boot!). This month I'll aim to begin with why I love crafting so much (this post), followed by 4 wreaths you can make for under $10, 5 upcycled bird feeders that don't look tacky, and ways to decorate using only the Dollar Store as your find spot. I'm excited to have you along for the journey! Why I Love to Craft       There are two things you should know about me:        1. I love decorating--holidays, seasons, special occasions, I will take any opportunity to decorate.      2. I thrive on thriftiness-whether it's thrift store shopping, going

    Mine and Jake's one year anniversary is on the 27th, so I thought it would be fun to write a blog post about marriage. This year has been one of the best and one of the hardest. It's been one of my greatest adventures and one of my greatest challenges. I have learned so much about myself and Jacob and the Lord, and I know I've barely even scratched the surface.      One of my favorite memories from this past year was our trip to the USVI. We got to have some quality "us" time, see some amazing things, really slow down, and get to know each other better in a different setting. It was a blast. Other favorites include celebrating silly things and play Monopoly, cooking together and just falling asleep on the couch watching TV.      For this post, though, I thought I would write about what they don't tell you about marriage. Sure, everyone is aware of the good stuff-like living with the person you love most in the world, sharing responsibilities, sex, adventu

      You may be asking yourself if this is going to be a rant post. Why yes, yes it is. But it is also going to hopefully help you think about what you're doing the next time you go to your favorite coffee house.        The following list is in no particular order.  1. Being on the phone while ordering.       We don't know who you're talking to and yet somehow you get annoyed with us... 2. Not tipping with large orders (6+ drinks)       It's not like we hate big orders or anything, but we do hate when you are entitled and act like it's no big deal.  3. Not listening when we've greeted you multiple times.        Actual conversation-- -Barista: Hi! What can we get for you?  -Barista: Do you have any questions?  -Barista: You can order whenever you're ready.  -Customer: Oh sorry. You didn't say anything.  4. Putting money on the counter instead of in our hands.     No, I'm not here. Don't worry about it. I can scrape the

(Before note: This was initially supposed to be a post for To Write Love On Her Arms. They were opening up the blog to readers and saying that some of the stories could get posted on the blog. Well it turned into so much more. I felt the need to share it here, too. I hope this message and encourages you and gives you hope. This post is one of my most raw by far, but it feels good to show that Jesus is good. I don’t have to hide my scars, just wear them as proof that God heals. I am in such a good place right now and the Lord is continuously doing a healing work in my heart. I pray He does the same for each one of you this new year.)     I honestly never thought I would find myself yelling at God. My whole life up to that point would have deemed the act disrespectful and deplorable.      “God is all-powerful and all-knowing.”      “He has your best interest at heart.”      “Just trust Him. He knows what He is doing.”      “Don’t give up.”     “He has a plan. There is a re

     New Years is one of my favorite times of the year. It's a chance to start over, to improve and learn and grow. It's a hundred new opportunities and adventures. It's a new chance to make a difference, to do things differently. When I picture a new year, I picture fresh, clean hope. Like the peacefulness of the world just after it snows. Laundry fresh out of the dryer- all warm and wonderful. A newborn baby. Puppy kisses. A brilliantly beautiful blue sky. Fresh, clean hope.      I won't lie, I was always one of those people who thought New Year resolutions were kind of stupid and a waste of time. We all know they won't last past the end of the month, right? Yet I grudgingly made one or two because it's what you're "supposed" to do. I would never follow through with them and wouldn't really care (but then again, I'm pretty good at giving up on stuff...more on that in a minute). This year I have a bit of a different outlook on resolutions