Why "Fake it 'til you make it" is Total Crap

   
     When I was in middle school, I had a youth pastor who loved to use the phrase "fake it 'til you make it." He would use it during youth group sermons for all sorts of different scenarios. At the time, I thought it was the best thing ever, so I didn't question it at all. Recently, though, I have been thinking about it more. I think I've come to the conclusion that it's total crap. Or it kind of makes sense and perhaps the phrasing is just awful. Let me explain.
     I think when you are struggling, there is a real danger in being fake until you make it back to okay. If you don't reach out for help you might not even make it back. I have experienced this often in my life, taking the phrase a little too literally, believing that I shouldn't be bothering people with my problems. I could just "fake it 'til I make it" and everything will be dandy. Hey, guess what? It doesn't really work like that.

     I also believe that there is a lot of good that comes from honesty and vulnerability, even when things are going badly. I really believe that people often have a hard time trusting Christians because Christians don't come across as trustworthy or even real. They appear more like "happy, plastic people" (as Casting Crowns put it many moons ago). Most people who profess Christ are too afraid to be open and real. They are all about faking it. And no, I'm not saying this is true of every Jesus-follower, but it is certainly true of many. Maybe even yourself at times if you were honest. I know I've definitely been there. I don't want other people to see that I struggle or I sin or that I don't have it all together. What would they think? Fake it 'til you make it. 

     Don't get me wrong. I think in the short-term, faking it is much easier. But only for a little while. Being honest and open and, yes, vulnerable, is scary and intimidating. There is so much healing in it, though. And often times our ministry comes from our biggest struggles, too. Plus, what's the point of faking it when God already knows the truth anyway? It really isn't benefiting anyone to fake it 'til you make it.

     

     David was one of the masters of NOT faking it 'til you make it. He talks very openly in the Psalms about being in agony, his bed being full of tears. He talks about his enemies and his difficulties. He pleads and begs and cries. He weeps and mourns and (I believe) suffers often with depression and maybe some anxiety, too. Despite all this, though, David does not give up. There is one passage of Scripture where David is speaking to his own soul and says, "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God" (Psalm 43:5 ESV). I think David really knew the balance of honesty and openness, but also continuing even if he may not have felt like it. 
    Can I be honest for a minute? I have been going through a bit of a rough patch recently. My depression has been rearing its very ugly head and like a million other small things. Frankly, I don't want to go to church right now. I don't want to hang out with people. I don't want to eat healthy food. I don't want to read my Bible or be honest with people. I really just don't want to. But I have to. Why? Because if I don't do these things I will fall apart. See, this is the fine line between faking it and pushing yourself because you know you must. I know the truths about myself and who God is. I know the importance of going to church and reading the Bible. It's just a season that will have to be worked through and prayed through. I pray that Jesus begins to open my eyes and heal my heart-from the frustration, confusion, depression, and bitterness. 
     The best part is that God understands and He knows what I am facing, what you are facing. It isn't at all a surprise to Him. There is no need to "fake it 'til you make it" with God. Rather, move through each day honestly with Jesus at your side, facing one moment at a time. (Okay, so it doesn't rhyme and it's not as catchy, but it makes more sense!)
     What about you? What do you think about the phrase? Do you think there is truth to "fake it 'til you make it" or have you seen the negative side effects of this?