Things People Don't Tell You About Marriage

    Mine and Jake's one year anniversary is on the 27th, so I thought it would be fun to write a blog post about marriage. This year has been one of the best and one of the hardest. It's been one of my greatest adventures and one of my greatest challenges. I have learned so much about myself and Jacob and the Lord, and I know I've barely even scratched the surface.
     One of my favorite memories from this past year was our trip to the USVI. We got to have some quality "us" time, see some amazing things, really slow down, and get to know each other better in a different setting. It was a blast. Other favorites include celebrating silly things and play Monopoly, cooking together and just falling asleep on the couch watching TV.
     For this post, though, I thought I would write about what they don't tell you about marriage. Sure, everyone is aware of the good stuff-like living with the person you love most in the world, sharing responsibilities, sex, adventures, memories, blah-blah-blah. All of that is great and I could make that list much longer, but I'll save that for a later date.
     The following is a list of my own observations (in no particular order) of things people don't tell you about getting married.

• You have to sleep in the same bed. It's great when you're all cuddly and hanging out, sure. Not so great, though, when you get a knee in the ribs or an elbow in the face. Or if you wake up cold with no blankets because you're spouse stole them all (sorry, Jacob). 
• You have to get used to their weird quirks and habits. Like when he leaves his clothes in the middle of the floor, or balls up his socks after wearing them so they never dry after they're washed. Or like me, if you hate doing the dishes and wait until the last minute to do them so you're using a tablespoon to eat your mashed potatoes. And wearing his clothes all the time, sometimes more than he does....(not sorry about that one). Or using the other person's razor or soap in the shower...You get the idea. 
• You realize you don't have as much in common. This one took me by surprise, but I realized I was not alone in this. I was chatting with a friend recently who got married a few months before me and she agreed that when we were dating our now spouses it seemed like we had so much in common. Now it takes three hours to agree on a movie, or at least one person making a compromise. Date nights are a struggle because you like different food, you like different activities and one of you is tired while the other one isn't. Suddenly you find yourself wondering, "What did we do when we were dating??" 
• You are rarely alone. Don't get me wrong, sometimes this is great!! Especially when you are feeling lonely or need a buddy to do something with. It isn't always great, though. After you've spent almost a week straight with them, seeing them most of the time, you will be ready for a break (even if they are your best friend). They start gettin' on your nerves. 
• Your spouse does not complete you. You will sometimes still feel insecure, sometimes still feel in need of love, still try to figure out what your purpose in life is. When you get married you don't automatically have everything fixed. If anything, in a way, it gives you a few more challenges. Jesus is the only One who can complete us. Our spouse is the bonus that compliments us and helps us grow. 
• Sometimes you won't be in love with your spouse. There is naivete in this, I realize, but when you are dating or engaged and you have those lovey dovey feelings, you think they will last forever. You believe you will always want to be with your spouse, always cuddly, always doing things, always in love. That's simply not true. You have to work at love. It's a choice (often times even though you don't feel like it) and it's okay. Feelings are temporary, it's the promises made at the altar and the deep caring for your spouse that should be the drive. We won't always feel all mushy, lovey, etc. Sometimes you won't even really like them. The important thing is not giving up because you don't feel like you aren't "in love" anymore. 
• Sex is a critical part of marriage, but it isn't everything. Don't worry, this won't be in-depth. Speaking from a Christian perspective here, sex is a BIG part of marriage. That's pretty much what you think about marriage when you are a youngin' who has waited. And while I'll agree that it is definitely God-ordained-wonderfulness for marriage, it is not everything there is to a relationship. You have to spend time together serving others, continuing to get to know each other, talking, and serving each other (plus a billion other little things I'm blanking on at the moment). 

     Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this post. Is there anything else you would add that they don't tell you about marriage?? Leave a comment and let me know.