The Lovely Little Introvert

     I don't know about all of you, but I love journaling. I probably have twenty or so full journals in a box and usually have about three going (for different things). I love writing and I love words. About the time I was ten or eleven I started keeping a journal, mostly of silly little things like someone's birthday party or how mad someone had made me. Then as I got older, the journaling changed a little. It included more of what God was teaching me and the parts of life that I could not figure out. Now I journal a little less than I used to, but it is far more intentional now than it ever used to be. I love looking back on old entries to see where I have come from and all that God is teaching me. I love being able to see the challenges I faced and eventually conquered and  the things I am still learning how to deal with. I don't know, there is just something about being able to look back and reminisce on the faithfulness of God and know that He is still that same faith

Do you know that if you repeat anything enough times you start to believe it? Even if it is a lie, say it enough and it becomes the truest thing you know. The same goes for truth, too. Take something you know to be true but have a hard time believing. Repeat it enough and it is true. I do think this sounds much simpler than it is, but I did that on purpose to simply get a better understanding. And to get you thinking. How many of you have been told something hurtful before? Like you are ugly or stupid or something like that? Well if you are anything like me you replay it over and over and over again. Slowly that lie starts disguising itself as truth until after a while you can’t differentiate between that masquerading lie and actual truth. The two intermingle and it all gets blurry and very contradictory. Suddenly you can’t tell up from down and you begin to wonder if truth is even a real thing and if it can be known. It flips your world on end. This describes all of us in one are

     One of my very favorite things to talk about and write about is beauty. Beauty of people, the mountains I'm surrounded by, the beauty of love. The beauty everywhere. I can't help it. When I get started, it's hard to shut it down. The joy I experience bubbles up and over and it's such a lovely mess.      Shift for a second to the opposite end of the spectrum. The other day at work, one of my partners asked if I was a glass half full or half empty kind of person. I had to stop for a second. I knew what answer I wanted to give him. But I knew if I told him that, I would be lying. So I looked him in the eye and told him, somewhat shamefully, that I'm a glass half-empty kind of person. Actually, I pretty much always have been. Can't say exactly why...      How can I possibly be both of those things? Well I can't, at least not at once. It's the struggle between my flesh and my spirit that is waging constantly. Sometimes I have no idea how to deal with i