When My Heart is Overwhelmed

       This week has been one of the roughest I remember in a long time. It just seems like that week where everything goes wrong. I mean, Monday started out great. Work was amazing and I felt like I made progress with my baristas and I felt like I was on cloud nine. Then I came home, packed up my stuff, and went to the library to take my French test. Though I haven't gotten back my final score yet, it is safe to say I bombed that thing (and I only have three...and they count for 30% of my grade). On Tuesday, work was a nightmare. We were understaffed and I felt like I was having a continuous panic attack for like two hours. When I did homework later on that day, I found out that two of the textbooks I had ordered were wrong, and one of them I needed for a presentation that's due next week. I emailed my teacher and the news kept getting better. There was no access to the correct books online anywhere and none of my local libraries had them. To Amazon I went. I had to expedite ship them with money I didn't really have and hope that they will get here on time. Yesterday I was supposed to open my store, which means I'm up by about 3:05 a.m. to be there at 4. I had tossed and turned all night, looking at my alarm clock every half hour or so. Finally, though, I fell asleep. The only bad thing was that I was awoken by my phone buzzing. It was my co-worker calling and asking where I was. It was 4:03. I bolted out of bed and made it out the door in seven minutes flat. We were behind for a while, but eventually caught back up. When I told my ASM, she said she would have to decide whether or not to write me up. (Let me just say, I have never been late for work in my entire life. It was really hard for me to process the fact that I had been late for work, especially on an open.) I  came home, got a shower, and wrote out all the things I would need to know for my French homework. A friend I work with is helping me with my pronunciation, so we met and he helped me work on a paragraph I have to read for my teacher. That went great and I felt good about it when I left. Came back home to do my homework and realized that I was completely overwhelmed. I started to have another panic attack because there is no way I will remember all of this information, and try to learn sentence structure (which I am failing miserably at). Not to mention that I have to read for my teacher today and I'm not even sure I'm doing any of this right. Lastly, I found out that because I didn't pay off the full amount of my tuition before the Spring semester, I got charged an additional amount, and I owe the full sum by March 25th. Talk about panic! ( I know I live at home still, but I do not make that much money...)
      I know this probably sounds like a rant. Partially it was. Mostly I wanted to say that so I could point out the significance of the Psalm God gave me. After moping and panicking and worrying, I decided to pray about it. I just told God I was overwhelmed. Nothing fancy. I just told Him I didn't know what to do. The only response I got was a Scripture reference. It was Psalm 61.
                  "O God, listen to my cry! Hear my prayer! From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me. Let me live forever in your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of your wings!" Psalm 61:1-4 
        This chunk of Scripture is so powerful. God will hide me and protect me when I am overwhelmed. None of what I am going through is a surprise to Him. In fact, when I was reading this and talking to God about it, I got this overwhelming sense that all of these things this week were not by accident. They didn't just happen. God is letting them happen on purpose. You know, people always say that God won't give us more than we can handle. I really disagree with that statement. In fact, I think most of the time God gives us way more than we can handle. And I think He does it because He knows it is the only way we will learn to trust Him and rely on Him. Hard times and rough weeks push us toward Scripture and prayer and worship. They force us to let go or die trying on our own. 
         I certainly don't have things all figured out, but God is working on me. Thankfully He hasn't given up on me and I know He won't.